WtF?

Bored to the bone..what the heck am I to do?
All this time I was waiting for SPM to be over,but now I AM NOT HAVING ANY PARTAYYY
WTF????
and gimme a topic to talk about

Reality versus Fantasy

It was unbelievable of what my eyes set on its view. Things that were thought unachievable by our forefathers are now in the grasp of the people. I looked around and what I saw was inexplicable. This can’t be happening, I thought to myself. How could it be? From the place I came, men don’t know the value of one another. They rip the life of another without heaving a reason for it but this place is somehow different. Majestic it was for I saw a young man lying by the street was helped by another who barely even knew him. Wars were no more.

People from different lands, different roots and different belief treat one another as equal and not savages. The news of bombs falling from the sky was unheard of. Different were things there. For eyes could have played tricks on its owner, I closed mine and rubbed it hard to check whether it was blasphemy of what I am seeing but it was all truth and nothing but it. Fantasy it was I thought, the very same fantasy the people from where I came from long to have and own. Most of them if not all. This is what we called the Real Peace of The New World. I let myself rejoice for awhile in this wonderland for I saw of was what my generation could only dream of.

Shouts were heard, so loud it was I hurled up and saw the woman that brought me to this world. Weary but still pretty in her own way, I thought. I ran down the house I lived in for the past 7 years and straight to the field. There I saw kids of different skin colours laughing with each other. Happy they were. The same happiness I long for everyone that share the same land as me. I reminisce of the fantasy I had by the field with the background of laughter of the kids. Something hit me in the face, it was a torn newspaper brought by the wind. I read and it was the same old stories I have heard the past 17 years I have walk on this land.

In the midst of this man slaughter and butchery. I stop awhile to ponder. Men, the one in power tries to inflict negativity and fears to the oppressed. For they themselves are daunted by the unseen. It is in us, the great Homo sapiens to lose our faith and strength to what lies in the shadow. Often achieving far less than we perceive. For we are proud to call this the “New World” but it is for nothing.

Far than what our eyes can see all over the globe. Mothers and sons are lying down on earth late at night without really sleeping. How can they? For bombs could explode any second and rip their loved ones from their arms. In other parts of the land, sons growl at their mothers for their food are not to their expensive liking. It’s a pity and ungrateful of what us, men have become. This land, long before was sacred and full of peace but now the oppressed remains to be oppressed for nothing they could do. Hands that intend to help are tied tight. So they lie still and do they only thing they can, hope.

If men could just stop and forget about their roots and fight for real humanity all these could be put to an end but too many priests that lead our march and parade live with mask and many are tricked into believing them. Thousands die every day at the barrel of guns. Cries and sorrow are a daily routine. The criminal often escapes and fingers are pointed at the victim. What has happened to the real peace we proudly chant every day? Blown by the wind of gold? Are we blind not to see the obvious for the obvious are clearly spread right before our eyes?

Today I wake up and bathe thinking as far in the horizon of what food are my sisters and brothers have to fill in their empty stomach whilst I put aside the yolk for it is not to my liking. Ungrateful and arrogant we have become but still proud for nothing. Remember, Allah (God) is watching. Sounds of kids shouting in pain brought me back from my deep thoughts. After giving a hand, I limped back home, devastated, in the realization of what I dreamt was just a mere fantasy. Fantasy that is crush in the wake of the reality that all the serenity I saw was just a utopia.

Today when I lay my head on the soft pillow, I dream of tomorrow that when I wake up, men stand hand in hand and wage a war in the fight for one another without looking at their roots but for what is right. I dream there will be tranquillity and serenity far in the horizon and everywhere man can breathe. I, the young generation and the leader of tomorrow’s world can hand and only hope that when Reality Versus Fantasy it wins hands down for I want to love in a real New World of peace and hope.

Life as a 17

It's 3.39 A.M and I'm typing in the dark,
I started thinking
Life as a 17 isnt hard,well that is not what your parents will say
They will say "what do you know" "You havent seen the real,cruel world yet"
Thing is I'm just 17 not 56, When I'm 17, I view the world as a 17 not 43 or 34 but AS a 17
And when You are 17,coping with time is hard,studying is troublesome,love is a headache,teachers are full of shit, and parents are simply pain in the neck.
I ain't complaining,since there are tonnes of others who are going through the same thing
Just that, at times things get hard and it slows you down and it makes you fall
When you trembles and shake and the one who are close to you can't seem to realize, the one who sits next to you in class couldn't be bothered, it hurts
At times, you just feel like running, but where to?
The streets isn't a cozy place to lie your head down, money doesn't just appear if you make your stupid face.
So most of the time,you don't run, coz if you run parents are going to be your worst nighmare.
They'll kill you and your misery ends there but you wouldn't want that to happen right since you are still a freaking VIRGIN(it's another matter if you are not).
You just life through the life you terribly hate
when Exams come knocking in your life,well to put it simply,your life become worse
for the CUTE girls, pimples start popping everywhere their eyes could set it's views on
Late night studies = headache
Worst case scenario is you get sick
Results come out and you get some pretty and colourful report card
Parents start opening their mouth and nag,nag
Teachers add some spice to it
Parents nag nag nag
Life is like face-fucking you isn't it?
God couldn't be cruel-er
Life is just a hell of a place, you'd wish you were dreaming far far away where every of your single dream to be with some HOT actor or megan fox come true
but be real
This isn't Alice in Wonderland
This is 2010
Where life fucks you in the face and there is nothing you can do about it
You are 17, you've got friends and some non-stop-battery-equipped-parents-who-nag-24-7
Far away people are running from being shot in the ass by some bombs
Far away, people search in trash for some food
Far away,people sleep on dirt and soil
Far away, you wouldn't wanna imagine far away
Exam,Chores,Nagging,Love sicks,Pimples,Choices
They arent too bad even if they fuck you in the face
Coz life isnt cozier on the other side
You are You and I am I,we live life ,though not the same one but acceptable
thankful we should be
Though some are far from having gold under their pillow
At the very least we are living under a roof
Not to say,let's sit here and gets your ball rotten just because you have a life
But for goodness sake
Stop being pathetic
Stop whining and say god is bad
Stop all these shit
Coz you are better than that
We are HOMO SAPIENS,FOR GOD's SAKE

The best creature (well that's what WE!!! say)
let's not lose our balls for the unseen
Shaken by the unknowns
Lost to the unthinkable
Afraid of the Shadows
Forget of Our Souls

Reminiscence of the past
and Imagine of Tomorrow
Hold Tight For today
Prepare For the Tide
Coz We are nearly there
The Battle might be lost
but the war aint over

We can achieve what we percieve,
We are the leaders of the revolution
We are John Connor
And for that
I will brave through my life as a 17
Persevere,and pull through
Even though life as a 17 fucks me in the face

Desperado

I think I need a way to vent out my feelings
and after writing such a LONG essay for English the other day I'm inspired to write a NOVEL..maybe,let's see whether this time I'm gonna stop halfway or not

It's You , Me against the WORLD

All around me of familiar faces
Going nowhere
But going around in circles
Where are they going,how the heck should I know
Coz if they themselves are uncertain of their destination
How am I,someone who can't drill into their thoughts
Someone, who has never been there understand thee
Daunted by their own negativity
Howled by others' thoughts
Pushed back by the great civilization of the smart apes
They linger in their own world of "hope"

One day...
If a man on the street,stop you
In the middle of your way
N ask "boy,what're you doing with your life"
The great earth shall stop
The sounding thunder of terror waits
Even Allah(god) will be interested to hear the answer
but the imbecile boy shall answer
"GO away crappy old man"
Thinking that, this old man,this messy stinking old man
what an utter waste of time,talking bullshit

BUT everyone of you,SHOULD
in fact ARE obligated,compulsory to stop and stare at the question
knock yourself in the head
And ask yourself,what the hell are you doing with your life?
You Owe it to your parents,founding fathers,the world
In fact god,the One who gave your the air you breath
To freaking answer the very question

I long have dwell there
Strutting every of my step
But in the end, getting nowhere
The daunting problem is that I SEE the light at the end of the tunnel
but I'm stuck here
My soul long for that salvation, to be in that very light
Salvation of eternity
That all others are dragging their feet to
But it's as seems,the harder I walk
The faster I hurried my pace
I even tried to run and fall
Got back up and sprinted my way through

But it seems I'm getting NOWHERE near the light
"GOD DAMN YOU FREAKING TUNNEL""YOU GOTTA BE JOKING"
"I ran half dead,and i'm getting nowhere"
CURSE YOU GOD, "sigh,even god hates me"
at this point,most have fallen
and I never tried harder, tired of God's "evil", "disgusting" plan
some dragged back their feet
to the same old petty place they used to belong
Few get to the light,with brains,or thoughts
Some took a highway route,but hey
If you got gold,you can go anywhere

Opportunity knocks but once,
Not exactly true but
the opportunity get worse every single time they come
boringly,knocking on your door
Those who got into the light
Few,very minute few, got to stay in
Others got kicked out further away than where they started
From those who got kicked out,little started their journey again
Many others just dwell in their sorrow

N at this point,you gotta be thinking
what the hell is this boy crapping
HEll,even I myself don't know
Ok maybe I do
BUT look at it in which ever way you want
and you shall see the truth

Many,if not all ask,what the hell is that "light"
Some,if not many shall say, HECK that "light" doesnt even exist
Keep dreaming you FOOLS!!!
Little,if not some,wouldn't even care to listen
All,will stop to see the man who speak about the light,makes a fool of himself
If the fool,fails to make a fool of himself,and say something mighty and glorious
ALL,shall say TODAY I WITNESS A SAINT BRINGING SALVATION TO OUR DYING WORLD
but minute,if not none,will wait for you,from the very beginning
for you to succeed
but few if not zero

THAT,i give you the world
who long to see you fall,but will smile if you don't
whom will laugh at the most if you fall into the darkness of embarassment
that i give you,human being

But to answer the VERY question
the light actually,differs
I live my life sarcastically
Do what i Wanna do
WAnna see the world achieve serenity(tho that's far from happening),if not a little serenity,well that's my "light"

YOU,might have been beaten up
when you were a childseen EVERYONE as an enemy
and hey you wanna see the world,dies in a black fire,hey if god forbids, that will be your light


So don't ask others,what's my light
journey into your heart
dwell into that creepy place and ask your soul
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?
and whatever the answer is,that's your light
and hell no,that's not mine
and yes everyone has their OWN light

HOW TO GET THERE?

When the world is mocking you,
When the people around you,are waiting,for you to stumble down and never get up
When all hope has gone,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating
If you can fall down,and get back up and run FASTER
IF you can change as the world revolves,not falling behind
IF you can open your eyes,but see together your brain and heart
If you don't waver when the odds are against you

You'll get there
There's no mountain that's to high
Your is the heaven and earth and everything in it
And for what truly matters
Althought you and me are just normal human beings
We are in the light
WE have breathe life to our dreams

For it's you and me against the world

..... :)


Quotation : Mad World -Rolan Orzabal
IF -Rudyard Kipling

As I drags my feet towards tomorrow
I wonder what does It has in store for me
It's the human nature to fret of what they can't see
To lose their balls for things that are unseen
Men loves to belittle someone they hardly knows
Henceforth calling themselves mighty
Inexplicable,what they have become

As I gauge for tomorrow
I wonder what has I made with my yesterday
Have I spent it wisely?
The yesterday that lighted fools
has made what we are today
But i'm not a fool nor a wise boy
neither am I for I do not know what I have become
To say I'm above it all is utter bullshit
But to say I'm below it, is a blasphemy

I guess I have gone senile
I'm daunted of the shadows of tomorrow
Crying tears of remorse for yesterday
Nor I live in the moment
I'm a shadow
Of whom?
I hope I know

I long to blame this on someone
To put this on another soul
why must it be me?
Last time I checked with google
there was 6,692,030,277 souls on earth
I must be lucky
Look at the numbers,what are the odds?

God loves me,I guess
that's another way to look at it
But either way I look at it
I see the same old,boring perspective

A doctor can cure thousands of lives
But when he is sick
Who is out there to cure him?
I wonder

I hope with what tomorrow holds
Is not bleak nor cloudy
And for what tomorrow holds
I shall rammed at it with all my might
And hope I go through unscathed


truth be told,nobody knows
I might walk down the street tomorrow the next morning
and got bang by a car
WHAT HAPPY EVER AFTER ENDING...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................i guess...

Snappin'

*of my own productions

The prophecy

I am moody since I first met her
I am emo since I first saw her
I am unbelievable since she came
I am more to myself because of her

A book : Rich dad Poor Dad

I have been reading this book
Although, it's freakingly old, published in 1997, but it is interesting and helluva nice, hahaha.
Been reading it for the past 3 or 4 days and I couldn't help but to agree with what the author T. Kiyosaki

The book is about money and how to make it works for you
Extremely Nice
It's on the top In MY list of BOOKS
because it's not those kinda books that teaches you in format points or whatsoever
This book, this very book tells you a story and gets you intrigued

I RECOMMEND YOU FOR THIS ONE

and T. Kiyosaki has 13 books in the series of Rich Dad

I HAVE A CRAZE FOR FINANCIAL BOOKS

Another day in his Life

Yesterday, Terry asked him whether he likes Fong or not??
He was thinking, What the Hell??
Terry must has felt insecure, he must be scared if Fong likes Him or He turns out to like Fong, well nobody can blame him, Terry is just protecting his place
But let me tell you all this, he doesn't like Fong and he doubts he ever will

The thing that absolutely got him shock was
Terry knows that between Lin and him are no more
He was so shocked about it, but he acted cool
He didn't lose his temper
But he was kinda sad because he didn't want everybody to know about it
He doesn't want everybody to look at him with sympathy and see nothing but sadness
But there's nothing he can do about it now
It is all said and done

In no time everybody will know
Don't worry be Happy, I guess

By the way, he is so relieved that the whole thing about shifting classes are done

I'm kinda happy nowadays because I'm around my friends and family and they make up my life. And they have always care for ME!!!

Melancholy

These days really get him tired of them but something,though he doesn't know what it is, that pushes him to go on
The imbecile torture of WHETHER OR NOT HE CAN CHANGE class really gets under his skin, pisses him off to the point that it makes him wanna retaliate and embarrass them but like I said before, something holds him back.

Nowadays he feels calmer than ever, more like poise. Only handful of stuffs can penetrate him, what I mean is pisses him off la.

He will be missing you, the one who is moving to the Bestari class because somehow he feels so close to you, comfortable with you, someone he can really connects with but somehow not more than a friend.

Truth be told, He really misses her. Somehow he feels like calling her,talking to her and holding her hands again. He misses having her besides him but that is far from possible huh?

Imbecile

He has been busy since 2010 started
School has never been so hectic since he has LOTS of stuffs to handle and am responsible for
His daily schedule starts with 6.20 wake up alarm, school till 1.20 or 2.30, home by 3++, shower, eat , reading time, maybe a short nap, then dinner and study till He sleeps
The most tiring part is school but he can't complains and He has got LOTS of stuffs to catch up with since He played throughout my Form 4 and he gotta admit School is FREAKINGLY fun

The worst part is he doesn't have the time to sit down and think about himself,that I know is in a deep mess and he didn't bother to find time and it IS very peculiar for him to do that
FOR THE FIRST TIME, he tried something he always told me not to do, that is run away with his problem, think about it only when it comes to him and when he sat down the other day and think about it, reminisce, It has gotten worse.

He never felt so lonely. When people talk to him about her and tease me bout her, He smiles without knowing the consequences, in a way he lied to them for not telling the truth that they are no more. In every way he is a liar, he always have been I guess. Call him torturing himself but that's what he truly thinks even how many times he thinks it through.

True, he has his friends and they are nice to him and he loves them but watching Kenny and Siaow Wen , Terry and Fong, It makes him feels somehow, indescribable. Somehow, he feels so lonely when he thinks about it and he has gotta nothing to blame but himself for it. Somehow when he goes home, sit down and after he finished his homework and his reading, It took him aback that all this time he has been lying to himself and that's the worst sin someone can commit.

He has never appreciated what God gave him, what she gave him and he, he always does that, to cry when there's nothing he can do anymore. What a fitting end I guess. Maybe he didn't fully believe it when he said he will never find a replacement when she is no more, but now he does believes, maybe not forever but this will take a long time for him.

He tried to make himself feels good by thinking that he is still in a relationship, feeling proud when people talk bout her but it didn't work, it never will. He has only told a few isolated cases, those are the people he feels comfortable talking. He knows he is not facing the truth. He is not saying all this to make her feel bad and truth be told he is glad she has moved on. He is relieved to know that.

He has changed in many ways since that happened, He is such a nerd now that he can't even believe he do his homework but I guess It is for the better of him, maybe this is what God meant by saying she is the one for him. FOR THE BETTER

Don't worry, he doesn't fake his smile anymore, just that it isn't happy as it was. I guess he will slowly turn to his old self, the irritating him. HAHA

AND THANK YOU, Fong, thank you for being there, for lending your ears, for being a shoulder to cry on even though you have had enough on your plate. HE LOVES YOU ,Fong.
Loves as a friend though.

The song that He is gonna sing for Madam ONG's retiring day

BY Pete Teo - I Go

So long, fare thee well
The dancer and the dancing days have taken leave and fell
So turn down this bed of stone
Quench me with the deadly nightshade from the rose that you belong

The long December rain is falling now
Running down on streets to nowhere
Music is my life you're my sweetest nightingale
But I can't hear it here no more
And I go
I go

Hush now, don't shake or break
Words have fallen silent like soldiers to the grave
No matter what they do or say
Lay me on the sleepy meadow by the tracks upon your face



Owh he loves this song..Shade tears