If you were to Know Me 30/04/09 Zomeo&Zilliet

If you were to know me..you should know i'm like a knight who can take thousands of stabs and still never backs down..I'm that person who trust in my capabilities and knowing my limits and always trying to go for the very BEST!!!and if you were to know me..I'm a kind of a person who never gives up at trying to excel and be the winner..I've never backed down..but for ONCE just for ONCE I've lost that spirit..today I saw what the world is made up..If you were to know me you would have known that I'm a person who never says "sorry I'm not in the mood" but today I've finally uttered that sentence..today I saw how to accept a downfall created by human's judgement..today I saw that there will be injustice and it takes More than a HIGH spirit to topple down injustice..it's not about a great king arthur that went to a village saying you must fight the war and the pirates and reigns over the GREAT COUNTRY..it takes more than spirit and talent to topple down a great name,it really does ..I saw that today I must admit I've lost..I've lost not because We were not better than the others...I lost because it's human nature..I lost because it would just be an embarassment if We did..We lost because we were too good to win..all my life I've never held my head so high but stood so low


To put it in a better way of sayin..This is the very first time I've never doubt my talent..This is the very first time I motivated my team in other to put their spirits up..This is the very first time I put my team through a psychology session to make him feel how to cry and his tears was flowing like ancient Babylon..This is the very first time an outcome threw me so down that I could never back up..This is the very first time I've ever admit what I did..This is the very first time I motivated everyone and put everybody's hope so high it went crumbling down..BUT what for??It was all POINTLESS..my friends never thought we could have won but i motivated them and put their hopes so high but when it ends it went crumbling,crashing down..it was all shattered..but what for???I've hurt my loved ones in the process but what for???POINTLESS

I must say that today I'm nothing..I must at last admit today I've finally lost the battle of spirit that I've always won easily..

Somehow I just can't follow what I posted in the last post
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

maybe just maybe Rudyard's word was too good for me to follow..It was so painful that I must let it out..
Today is the day that I've finally been where I've never been before..Such petty place made by human called embarassment..and I must say today I've fell from a place too high that I don't think I can't get up ever again without any scars..


serve man and you'll be frustrated
serve god and you can serve both